Marijuana use and dating

Published Apr 21, 2019 12:37 p.m. ET

The world of dating can be a terrifying place no matter who you are. The entire point is to get to know, judge, and be judged by someone who you view as a potential partner. Even the most confident people tend to have something that they fear being seen in a negative light. For some, it’s little things like how we eat, laugh, or our favorite television shows, but for others, it’s something that may be a bit more challenging to fit in or make work with a partner that doesn’t like said thing. Smokers, alcohol consumers, and cannabis lovers are all judged harshly by certain crowds, and these topics can be difficult to deal with which leads so many people to avoid dating altogether, or pretend that their vices or hobbies are non-existent until the perfect moment comes along, which may never actually happen, and no relationship should begin on deception.

With marijuana legalization now in full swing, and most cannabis products either legal or well on their way to obtaining that status, anyone who uses cannabis can be more forthcoming without any real risk of reprisal besides finding out that your perfect crush might not be the one. Marijuana use is now a much more socially acceptable hobby and will typically be approached similarlyto alcohol or cigarettes. Some people will love it; others will hate it. It’s really only a matter of personal opinion, and you should expect that some of your dates might end up not liking cannabis at all, but there will be just as many if not more that fully accept marijuana use as a fun activity, or simply won’t care that you choose to smoke a little at the end of a long day. It’s time to build up your confidence in the dating world, and to help we have compiled a list of eight helpful tips and tricks for those who are entering the dating scene with cannabis as their preferred substance of choice.

1. Crush the stereotypes

One of the biggest misconceptions about cannabis is that it makes people that use it lazy, unmotivated, and useless. Luckily, with so many more people being open about marijuana use this is a view that is slowly changing, but if you are going out on a date and want to put off the best vibes possible then focus on showing them everything there is to know about you that is the opposite of those stereotypes. This will work in your favor if you find out that they aren’t overly fond of weed themselves.

2. No marijuana use on a first date

The first time that you date someone, it’s always a good idea to stay completely sober, regardless of your preferred substance of choice. It helps to keep a clear head and not make a fool of yourself accidentally. Though the stereotypical first date is often portrayed in the media as a bar-based event which leads many to believe this is a good idea, it’s much better to focus on getting to know each other instead. If your date ends up not liking cannabis than you will be really glad that you didn’t spark up beside them unknowingly setting a negative precedent going forward.  

3. Don’t keep your preference for cannabis a secret

Even though marijuana use isn’t recommended as a go-to activity for your first night out with someone, that doesn’t mean that you should continue to date someone while keeping your preference cannabis consumption a secret. You will find that some people just don’t like pot for whatever reason, and it isn’t fair to trick someone into believing that you don’t use it. By the second or third date, the subject should make it onto the table at least once before anyone gets too invested. It’s better to know now than to find out later or you might be left disappointed.

4. Respect their opinion

If you find out at some point during your first few dates that your partner doesn’t want to use cannabis, or doesn’t like it altogether, it is essential that you respect their feelings. You should never try to pressure anyone into using any substance they aren’t comfortable with, and there are gentle ways to educate and discuss marijuana use without getting offended. Though it’s a natural response to want to defend an action that someone is judging you for, it’s a good idea to take a breath and make sure that what you do say comes from a compassionate and knowledgeable place. If your partner is fine with your marijuana use but doesn’t want to partake themselves then respect that boundary and try not to smoke around them whenever possible. They will thank you, and it will improve your chances of the relationship evolving if you put your date first.

5. Talk about other things

If you don’t know the person that you are about to go on a date with well enough to know how they feel about cannabis than it’s a good general rule to stay away from the subject, at least to begin with. Talk about your other interests, passions, family, friends, and whatever else comes to mind. Of course, you will eventually need to be honest, and there might be an opportunity to discuss it, but if there isn’t then just enjoy bonding over other less controversial topics. Couples often have polar opposite opinions on politics, tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, and many other things, so it’s important to focus on the more relatable topics that are less likely to cause a negative reaction at first. If they are interested before they even find out, then you may find they take the news better than blurting it out on the first date. Especially if they don’t use cannabis themselves.

6. Advice for medical patients who can’t avoid marijuana use on the first date

Our tips and tricks are essentially guidelines and tools that can be used to bring up cannabis in the most gentle and effective manner possible for the average person. However, not everyone has the luxury of gently bringing up the subject on a second or third date. Some who require medical marijuana frequently for various reasons might need to take a different route and talk about it almost immediately. We recommend being as open and nonchalant as you would be about requiring any other prescription only with a little additional twist since most people smoke or vape cannabis rather than swallowing it in capsule form. Tell them why you use it, and how often it is needed if they are in charge of planning the night. If you are responsible, then prepare to visit a venue that offers convenient options where you will have access to a safe place to medicate while your date has the opportunity to be either with you or awaiting your return where they might feel more comfortable.

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