How to make it work with a partner that doesn’t like pot

Published Mar 2, 2019 02:33 p.m. ET

We all go through life slowly experimenting, finding our own way and learning our own preferences among many different mind-altering and high inducing substances including alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and cannabis. Once you get comfortable using something that works with your personality and body, it can be a daunting quest to try to give up the time feeling the way that you have come to enjoy.

Now if you are lucky to be one of the few who doesn’t care what people think while letting the whole world know that you love a little green than you probably surround yourself with like-minded individuals and have less of a chance of ever having to worry about such things. Unfortunately, for the ones who choose to keep their habits discreet the prospect of falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same way about marijuana use is quite probable. Sure, there will be plenty of folks who read this thinking that could never happen to them, but there are just as many others who are trying to live inside of that reality right now, and it can be a struggle to find a balance that works.

Tips

If you find yourself fawning over someone who dislikes weed, then you will have feel them out, to get an idea for how open they might be to someone who uses cannabis. However, if you are already knee deep in a committed relationship than you must try your best just to make it work. Here are some handy tips to help you find common ground that accommodates your spouse as well as your need for relaxation.

1. Communication

The best way to learn exactly how your other half feels and thinks about marijuana use is to sit down and ask. Let them say anything that they need to and listen to what it is they have to say before you do the same in return. Offering up and agreeing to a no judgement talk time is a great way to start a conversation that leads into other suggestions here which will help to further your progress in keeping both of you comfortable.

2. Negotiation

Once you have an idea of your spouse's specific beliefs, it is time to begin the negotiations. If your spouse likes to drink alcohol or has some other activity, they like to partake in, then one suggestion could be that you get to enjoy a little cannabis while they are also enjoying their recreational substance or activity of choice. Another that is often seen is that marijuana using spouse will offer methods of ingestion that don’t smell and are not hazardous for your health. What you want to say will be different than what the next person might, and you should be cautious in choosing negotiating factors that suit your other half’s comfort levels. If your man doesn’t like the smell than offer to select a method of ingestion that isn’t going to wreak havoc on their nose. If your girl doesn’t like the stigma attached to cannabis than an excellent negotiating point should be focused on discretion. The idea here is to get the all clear for what you want while also keeping them as comfortable as possible.

3. Benefits of marijuana

If you are with someone who just doesn’t get it and no attempts at negotiation are working than trying to focus on the benefits of marijuana. What this is means is not only the statistics that can be found on Google but also what the plant does for you as an individual. Perhaps you suffer from anxiety or some other physical ailment that cannabis can help to medication, or maybe you just really need to wind down at the end of a long day. There’s also a wide breadth of marijuana research that can help you in this regard. Voice what you learn and focus on the reasons why you like to use marijuana and how it benefits you as a person.

4. Clear boundaries

Being with a non-smoker is going to require some pretty strict boundaries to keep the peace. Whether it’s no smoking cannabis in the house, no consuming it in public, or not using it when you are responsible for things like children or work are excellent starting points. Different methods of using weed have different pros and cons so some will restrict the way they ingest it or the times that are acceptable to do. This is important because without boundaries that have been voiced and agreed upon in advance there is liable to be some miscommunication which could lead to a fight that helps nobody.

5. Discretion

When your spouse doesn’t like cannabis, it’s always a good idea to remain as discreet as possible. Otherwise, you are just rubbing their face in something they want no part of. There are of course less obvious ways to ingest it, but most people think of that right away. What many don’t think of is the smell and taste that will linger after you have smoked it. Time your smoking sessions so that you have enough time for a quick shower, change of clothes, and a tooth brushing before interacting with your spouse. They might know that you are smoking it, but these little things are just reminders that they likely don’t want to have to deal with. A spray of perfume or cologne can help, but since the resins will stick to your hands, mouth, and clothes, there is no way to entirely be rid of it without a good hot shower.

6. Don’t lie

This one is perhaps the most important suggestion of them all. You should never lie to your spouse about marijuana use. If you do, then once they do find out it is just going to be so much more difficult to recover from and any trust you once had will go right out the window. Always be honest with those who are closest to you about your preference for cannabis use. This helps to build trust long term and provides someone who can alert medical professionals if ever a situation arises where someone needs to know. If you can’t find a way to be honest with your other half than there likely isn’t much hope for your future as strong relationships are built on a foundation that is strengthened by trust. Do not ever break it.

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